Use Faer Warning
by Dil's Song
Summary: After a break-up only shattering to one party, Jasper goes and wakes up in the den of a small woman obsessed with faeries. JasperXAlice, Trans M/M, M/F, contains non-het/non-cis themes, Gender-bent characters.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, what am I doing uploading this? This isn't something I antagonised over for months before I posted! Oh well, it's to thank my lovely reviewers on Sun-Dress-Guitar - because you guys are pretty amazing.

It's a new story - though same views on gender and sexuality as the last one, and it focuses more on those issues then Sun-Dress-Guitar does.

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When Jasper woke up, he was alone in a bed that wasn't his own. Rousing himself, he glanced around. His head felt fuzzy, and his tongue was dry. Luckily, it felt like that was as worse as his hang-over was going to get. Dehydration had never really been a problem for him.

He glanced around the strange den of a room; the bed he woke up in was a strange circular shape, with everything from paintbrushes to his belt – which he quickly unhooked – hanging from the four-poster frame. He glanced on the floor and saw his clothes scattered everywhere, along with someone's bathrobe, a fluttery blue dress, several figurines of mystical creatures, paintings that seemed home-made, bits of cloth and a pile of buttons. Looking at the walls, he was hangings of medieval scenes, several cartoons and a large mural of Disney Princesses. The feminine childishness the room displayed confused him – of what he remembered of last night, the girl he'd gone home with lived with her one roommate, and had seemed as drunk and giddy as he was, but still relatively mature.

"Welcome to the land of the living!" The voice made him glance at the bottom of the bed. An easel was set up, but there was movement behind it. He leaned over to see behind it, "– no, don't get up I'm painting you." The voice snapped. Jasper sat back down. That was the voice of his one-time fling. Immediately Jasper failed to feel comfortable with the thought. Maybe he should get her number or something ….

He waited for a while, but when it seemed she wasn't going to speak again, he did, "Why are you painting me?" He asked, hoping to maybe prompt her to point him in the direction of his underwear since he was starting to really feel his nakedness.

"Because." Was the short reply, and Jasper gave up on that front. It wasn't as though he minded at all, in fact, modelling wasn't even the strangest since he'd been asked the morning after anyway.

"What time is it?" He asked instead. He hadn't much to do on a Saturday, of course, but he still liked to keep track of the time. He also didn't know where his watch went, and made a note to hunt around for it later.

"Dunno." The easel muttered back, "I don't have a clock in here." That amused Jasper – it seemed among all the cluster, normal household items had to be sacrificed, "_Bella! What's the time!_" The loud yell woke Jasper up more then he cared for it to, and he stuck a finger in his ear to try and force his hearing back. All and all it was a lazy effort – he didn't mind sitting here and being drawn after a night of good sex.

"_Seven-thirty!_" A foreign voice shouted back. Jasper guessed it was the roommate. "_Are you alone in there!_" The voice added. Jasper smirked at the reluctance the tone carried.

"_Nope!_" The easel declared cheerfully,_ "_I put the coffee on a while ago," The voice added in a much quieter tone that was obviously meant for Jasper,_ "Is the coffee done!_" She yelled in a voice meant for the roommate.

"_Yes! Why do you bring a stranger here!_" Now there was a shade of panic to the roommate's side of the communication, and Jasper could guess this wasn't a usual occurrence – which was slightly flattering. Still wished he had pants, though.

"_He's really portrait-genic!_ You're really easy to draw." The last part was added cheerfully, and Jasper thanked her nicely, as someone came tromping up to the door.

It was opened slightly, and a girl with a woollen hat on poked her head in. "Alice!" The girl, who must have been Bella, said in a scolding tone – which reminded Jasper of the name of his partner for the night, though he'd only referred to her as 'little darling' – before glancing at the bed, and Jasper. He gave her a greeting wave, though he wasn't sure how else to address her. He realised he kept his bracelet on, though. Maybe that counted as clothing, since that was the only thing aside from the bed-sheet that he had on.

Instantly, Bella covered her eyes, "Oh, he's not wearing anything." She muttered, obviously not including the sheet _or_ his bracelet. She still sounded panicked, and Jasper was getting pretty amused, "Sorry –" she said to him, gaze moving politely to the easel, and suddenly her eyes widened in shock, "neither are you!" She snapped. That made Jasper give a loud laugh, which he tried to smother with his hand. Their banter was hilarious, though soon he managed to control himself, least they find his laughing rude.

The easel snorted, "I have my underwear on." Alice said, in a tone that suggested that was enough clothing-wise. Suddenly, a head poked out from the side. Alice's small elfin face grinned at him, with short black hair and bright hazel eyes, "Give us a smile for a second –" he obligingly grinned back, "good, you can stop now." Her head disappeared back behind the painting, and Jasper dropped his smile, and rolled his neck – he needed to stretch or he was going to start cramping up soon.

Bella began to do a little nervous dance; hopping from one foot to another and shaking her hands, "Okay … oh, god …" she looked from Jasper to Alice, as though she didn't trust either of them, "I have class, Alice …." She said in a tone that obviously meant she regretted it, and Jasper almost laughed again. It seemed she was having a bout of inner-turmoil.

Alice didn't seem to notice, or care, "Bye, have fun – bang someone. I did, see," her small hand came out to point at Jasper, "he's right there." The hand waved at him, and he waved back, amused that this was the advice she gave the anxious girl.

Bella sighed, and you could pin-point the exact second she gave up, "Just don't lock him in when you leave." She reminded her roommate. That prompted Jasper to worry – was he actually in danger of being locked inside a stranger's apartment?

Alice though, made a noise of confusion, "Where am I going?" She asked. Jasper was getting the distinct impression that Alice may be a bit scatter-brained.

"Party." Bella replied shortly, now ruffling through a shoulder bag she had, and that seemed to be enough for Alice, who muttered an absent; 'oh yeah … later' and told Jasper not to move so much. "Uh, bye." Bella addressed Jasper now, looking slightly pained.

He smiled at her, hoping she'd calm down. Getting so agitated wasn't good for your blood pressure. "See ya," he laughed slightly, and her smile became slightly more genuine, "have a good time in class." He added politely.

She nodded, "Thanks." She muttered, and closed the door. There were some footsteps, before a door somewhere further away open opened and closed, and there was silence again.

Jasper was stuck lounging on his elbows, cross-legged, until Alice jumped into view. "Okay!" She declared, "That'll be it! What do you want to do?" She asked, picking up her bathrobe from the floor and pulling it on. Jasper eyed the emotive cartoon ice-cream design, and wondered if he should stay. Then he glanced up, past a perfectly shaped, pale neck, into the cheerfully welcoming face, and he smirked.

"Coffee?" He suggested, and she nodded eagerly, about to skip out of the room, before Jasper called her back, "I need my pants," he explained, and gestured to the items strewn around the place.

Alice blinked, and pointed to the other side of her bed. "They're on the unicorn's bum." She said. He frowned, at first wondering if he heard her correctly. When she didn't seem to want to repeat herself, he glanced to the side of the bed.

"The unicorn's ….?" He saw what looked like one half of a horse with a rainbow tail, that was stuck in the wall. All you could see was it's lion. On that lion were his pants, slung over it neatly. "Oh, cheers."

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That's the introduction, thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, this is the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing, I've got a few more pages to go on this!

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Alice was bustling around the kitchen as Jasper sat at the island, taking out things like eggs, flour and butter, and leaving them on the counter. When Jasper asked her what she was making, Alice had replied, with great satisfaction, that she was making a mess. "Sorry for keeping you the whole morning," Alice said airily, and in a way that didn't sound sorry at all, "do you have somewhere you need to be?" She asked, though the tone was rhetorical.

Jasper took a slurp of his coffee before he replied, "Not on a weekend I shouldn't." He told her. Even if his phone buzzed, he probably wouldn't answer it. He didn't like remembering he had friends on a weekend, it was supposed to be a break, after all.

"Cool," she said, taking out a few chopsticks in different colours and sticking them haphazardly in the butter. He watched her work, and wondered if staying was the best option. She seemed even more childish then he was ….

He glanced around, and spotted a small mould of a badly painted tiny woman with wings. "You seem to like faeries a lot." He says in way of conversation. Alice glances back at him, and grins.

"Well, yeah," she agrees, shrugging and coming to sit across from him at the island, taking the butter with her, "I was raised with Shirley Barber as my favourite author, so it just goes to show I haven't completely grown up." She explained.

Jasper guessed that was a pretty little reason as any, "The same could be said for many," he says, and points to himself as well, which makes her give a small giggle.

She had turned back to the butter when she spoke again. "You wanna hang with me today?" She asked as she worked, "I've got until this afternoon." She added.

Jasper looked over to her, and focused more on the fact that her robe had fallen open, showing the light blue bra with white lace she wore very well, then the butter she was destroying. He smiled as he finished off his coffee. "Sure."

–

Jasper fell back onto the pillows, catching his breath and letting the sweat cool. That was their third round this morning. Distractedly, he glanced at his watch – and saw nothing but the skin of his wrist. He groaned, this was going to bug him for the rest of the day, "Oh, bugger …."

Alice glanced up, eyes bright, "What?" She asked, looking curious as he began to sit up.

He showed her his bare wrist, which she looked at, "Have you seen my watch? It's in here somewhere …." He glanced around; it certainly hadn't gotten any cleaner in here after their antics. Luckily though, he still knew where his pants were this time.

Alice glanced around the room too, "... Sorry," she shrugged in a careless way, "but that's just not happening." She told him, her shrug clearing saying she wasn't going to bother looking, and neither should he.

Jasper chuckled, grabbing his pants to check the time on his phone, "No, I didn't think so – fuck," he muttered, throwing his pants to the end of the bed, "no, I clipped my phone onto it, I need it …." He moaned, forcing himself up and to half-heartedly glance around the room again, while pulling on his ragged jeans. It was going to take forever to find the damn thing … and he was getting hungry.

"Boop, boop, boop," Alice said, and Jasper glanced at her, but jerked back when all he saw was bright purple. From further away he realised Alice was holding her charm-infested, purple slide-phone to him, "banana phone!" She yelled.

He took it from her, and leaned over to give her a kiss, "Cheers." He muttered, flipping it open and calling his phone. They both sat, glancing around and waiting for some kind or ringing or buzzing. Then, the call connected, and the chorus of _To Look Like You_ blasted from the left. Triumphant, Jasper jumped up from the bed, only just remembering to zip up his fly, and went to the floor and began to hunt around.

Finally, he found his ringing phone under a picture of a toadstool, and held it up exultingly, while hanging up Alice's phone. He paused for a moment, before, his phone still in the air, he chose the option to save his number in her contacts. "There we go –" Before he could get up, a weight slammed into him, "oof!" It was Alice, laughing in his ear and taking her own phone back.

"Yay!" She cheered, and grabbed something else in front of him, "Treasure hunters!" She declared, and, with Jasper laughing as he stood up with Alice clinging to his bare back, she showed him a novelty pirate's map, before jumping off of him, "I feel like French toast now – want some?" She asked, already heading out of the room.

Jasper ran after her, thinking that this was shaping up to be one of the fun Saturdays he's had. "Alright." He yelled after her, laughing as she warmly welcomed the mess from the coffee break they'd taken.

As Alice made the toast, giving Jasper pointers he didn't have to ask for every now and then, they chatted, from things like favourite colour to first home away from home. Surprisingly, Jasper enjoyed it more then he'd thought, listening to stories about car-thieves and possible meth-dealers, and sharing some of his own, entailing drag-racing and some embarrassing moments with his brother-in-law and his bachelor's party.

–

"Mmm," Alice sighed as Jasper kissed her neck, pressing his lips again and again to the creamy flesh exposed to him. Suddenly, she gasped and pulled back, "… oh crap." She sighed, slipping away from him and giving one of her favourites of his tattoos – the Alice in Wonderland one on his shoulder – an affectionate pat.

He watched her collect a few clothes and a bathroom bag, "What is it?" He asked.

She skipped into the bathroom, "I have to get ready for the party!" She told him before closing the door.

The shower started, and Jasper blinked. At a loss of what to do. "Okay …." He muttered, glancing around – nothing had exactly changed, and he felt cheap at the thought of leaving a note.

Suddenly, the door opened, "Oh, wait," Alice, hair plastered to her head, poked her head out of the door, "this is where I say 'call me!' and then you don't." She told him, in a very matter-of-fact way. Jasper frowned, not liking the sound of that at all.

"Or," he suggested, piking up his shirt and button-up and slinging them on, "where I say you've got my number and don't be shy." He walked up and gave her a parting kiss, "See ya, Alice." He muttered, turning and heading for the door.

"... Oh hey – what good thinking!" He heard Alice pipe up cheerfully behind him, "Okay, bye!" She sang after him, and he heard the door slam again, as he quietly let himself out.

* * *

I have no idea how grown-ups do social interactions. Or how people MY age do social interactions. Oh, you can just SEE how my life revolves around the internet. Meet you all on Tumblr, be back in a few weeks. xD


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the long absence, I'll try harder, pretty promise. Okay, so, this is the next installment, and I'll have Sun-Dress-Guitar up really soon, so thank you all.

Also read additional notes at the bottom.

* * *

Jasper was driving back to his apartment after picking up a few things for a friend of his when his phone rang. It had been a week since his little Saturday with the fairy girl, and in his head he'd actually labelled her a Manic Pixie, not that he needed to be shown how to live, of course. In their scenario it was more like the Manic Pixie Dream Girl skipped off with someone _fun_.

It was eight at night, and Jasper had found a strange mess waiting for him at home. Never-the-less, though not in the mood, Jasper flipped open his phone and muttered a greeting.

"Oh, hello!" Alice greeted, sounding pleasantly surprised, and Jasper felt his mood brightening at her laughter, "I didn't think you'd answer." She admitted.

"Oh, come on," Jasper scoffed, "I'm not that type of guy." He told her. Which was true – he planned on calling Alice tomorrow to drop a hello in. Or maybe shoot her a text – something to tell her his idea about their Saturday, considering he was proud to remember his English class archetypes.

"Well, it's not like I really know you." There wasn't much wariness in her voice as her words let on, but there didn't need to be.

"Point." Jasper conceded, turning and pulling up to his flat. He didn't get out, though, "Do you normally ask your fling's to spend the day with you?" He asked as it was a question he'd been meaning to have her answer for a while now.

"Well, I offer coffee," she explained, "but so far, you're the only one to say yes." She told him.

Jasper raised an eyebrow, "Out of how many?" He asked, before he realised what he was saying. It wasn't any of his business, and he certainly didn't mean anything by it – it was just genuinely curious about the answer; it wouldn't make him judge her. Or maybe it would; still didn't mean he should ask. He was about to apologise, but she answered anyway.

"Three." She chirped, "Though two of them were my boyfriends." Her voice turned sulky, "But now they're enemies." She added darkly.

"Shame." Jasper said, not meaning it since it benefited him, then glanced up at his building. He really didn't want to go in, "Hey, can I tell you a situation and you answer telling me how you'd deal with it?" He asked, the idea coming to him in a stroke of genius, if he did say so himself.

"Shoot." Alice agreed.

"My friend – his name is Pete – he took someone back to our place." Jasper decided to give her the shortest version, "Thought 'Charlotte' was a lovely young lady. But turns out Pete got himself smashed and Charlotte was actually this pretty cool guy called Charles." He said, remembering that movie where the guy only got so far as undressing his woman before being slapped with a penis. He liked that movie, Pete didn't realise the girl was a guy then either*. Maybe it was sign.

"Oh …" Alice seemed to sound deep in thought, "hang on, I don't get it." She told him.

Jasper laughed, deciding it was now or never, and grabbed the green bags, locking his car and heading up the stairs to the front door, "Turns out we just missed the drag show." Jasper explained, thinking back on the advertisement of the club they met in, and trying to remember if there was something like that mentioned, "I'm sort of disappointed-" He shook his head fondly, trying not to freak out a young woman looking at him as he made it through the lobby.

"Crapes!" Alice shouted suddenly, and Jasper was lost for a moment of what this had to do with thin French pancakes, "That was why I was there in the first place!" Alice groaned, "One of my friends was wearing my designs! Oh … damn, he's going to hate me …" She moaned, and sighed into the phone, before instantly perking up again, "well, anyway – I think your friend Pete might need to figure out how okay he is with sleeping with a guy." She advised.

Jasper thought about it, lifting his foot up to press the elevator for the third floor. "I think he's okay with it." He told her, "Except he ended up fainting in the morning when he found out, which Charles kindly waited around for him to wake up again," Jasper counted his friend's misfortunes on his fingers, "then threw up for the rest of the day, which is the state I found them in." He added, trying to keep the amusement from his voice. He never told people very often that he was a good friend, because when he did it was a complete lie.

"Really nice of Charles to stick around." Alice commented, sounding very surprised.

"I know, he's pretty nice." Jasper agreed, he was pretty shocked himself, the concept of 'nice' was foreign to him. "I hope Pete keeps him around to, because he actually cleaned up around our place." He adds. Their flat had never looked cleaner since the day they moved in.

Alice giggles, "Maybe you should – then you could ask him to do my room!" She jokes, and Jasper snorts, telling her she'd have to have money ready for that bomb-shelled place. "Okay, well, I better let you get back to your friend now," there was an amount of reluctance in her voice that Jasper found himself enjoying immensely; it was a rare event when someone actually didn't want him to go.

"Yeah," he blew out a sigh, "I want to see you again," He added. Then it occurred to him that he probably should have shown more coyness about that, unfortunately, dancing around an issue was never his style.

Alice seemed vague to his exact meaning though, "Like a proper see me, or a proper bang?" She asked.

Jasper laughed, he'd love one after the other, but he didn't want her to get the wrong idea. She was a good lay, but she seemed like she had the potential to be a better friend, "Let me take you out for …" he raked his brain for something that would appeal to her. Then he remembered her eccentricities and gave up, "coffee or something." Coffee was default, wasn't it?

Alice seemed pleased with the suggestion, "Love to! What place?"

That threw Jasper off. The only place he knew sold coffee was the food court of the shopping centre near-by. "... Um, how many places are there usually?" He questioned, trying to act casual about it. By her laughter, it didn't work.

She seemed to understand though, "You don't go for coffee a lot, do you?" She asked, sounding amused.

"Well, aren't you clever –" Jasper said dryly, "I know some good places for fish and chips, though." He said, trying to re-establish the assumption that he wasn't living under a rock, since that was true.

"Oh, I love fish!" Alice cheered, mentioning they should go out for dinner, "But why would you have chips with them?" She asked, obviously confused.

"What?" Jasper was the confused one, why wouldn't you have – oh, wait, Pete called them chips because he was from the Commonwealth. "Ah, no, fries." He corrected, "Pete's Australian-born English, all his sayings get stuck in my head." He explained, not mentioning that he had also memorised them, because some of them sounded better then the American terminology**.

Alice squealed with delight, "I wanna meet Pete!" She said enthusiastically.

Jasper was disgruntled that Pete was now getting her attention, "I'll tell him he's got a fan." He said lightly. He's long ago made it from the elevator, and had been hanging around the door to avoid going inside. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't put it off, and trudged into the lounge room, hearing his friend puking up a lung from the opposite side of the flat. His irritation spiked, "Gotta go now –" he muttered, before holding the phone away from his mouth, "Pete! Shut _up_, for fuck's sake heave quietly!" He snapped. The heard a moaned apology, and Charles' soothing tone, before more heaving, and rolled his eyes.

Alice laughed, "Okay, bye now!" She said cheerfully, and the dial-tone buzzed in his ear.

–

Jasper had given Pete his much needed supplies of bottled water, sickness-tables, pain-killers and also grabbed a new loaf of bread and milk, since they were out of both.

Pete had now calmed down slightly, and was lying on the couch with a bucket next to him. Jasper retreated into their kitchen to make coffee. He glanced up when he heard footsteps and saw Charles grinning at him. The man was thin and his face extremely androgynous, but his neck was thick and his hand and feet large. Jasper was still amused Pete hadn't noticed. Though as a Drag Queen, Charles would be used to playing pretend. "So, can this fish date be a double?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows. Jasper weighed the pros and cons of bringing his closest friend – a very sad fact – and his newly acquired drag queen boyfriend to his and Alice's first official maybe-date and decided that it was a good idea. He'd already mentioned them anyway.

"Sure." He nodded, and glanced at the doorway, where Pete had shuffled up to, holding the bucket and looking bright green, "Pete, go throw up some more." Snapped Jasper. He had no pity for the man.

Pete nodded obediently, and Charles went up to guide the man safely to the bathroom again, "It's not you I swear …." Pete croaked, his throat ruined from stomach acid.

"I know, I know," Charles murmured, "you really shouldn't have eaten the pickled cheese …." He added, nodding.

Jasper snorted as they left. It was just when Jasper had poked his head into the bathroom to formally tell them he had come back, that Charles excitedly told him the reason for Pete's violent vomit-act. After Jasper had left with Alice, Pete had been dared to eat seven hunks of cheese the bar kept in a jar of vinegar that had been left by itself so long it had turned green. Pete had risen to the challenge, and downed the seven pieces. After a quick trip to the human-vet, it turned out the long off dairy given Pete a nasty stomach-bug. Jasper was too amused to actually rag on him for his stupidity.

"Hey, Charles!" Jasper yelled as a beautifully-wicked idea began to form in his head, "As lovely as a nurse as you're being to my nearest and dearest, the things that will forever have you in my good books would be to stay the night and let Pete take you out for breakfast after he's finished regurgitating his stomach!" Jasper hollered down to the bathroom. Pete was a real bitch in the mornings – moody and cranky, or clumsy and blunt if he tried to be nicer. Either or, he would manage to insult dear Charles at least seventy times before their breakfast would be done.

"I'd love to Jasper!" Came Charles' faint voice, "Thank you!" He added.

Jasper chuckled as he stirred his coffee, "No problem at all …." He muttered.

* * *

* First off, Jasper did not correctly pronoun _at all_. Also - obviously the Crying Game. [I'd like to add he realised he almost came off as a slut-shamer and he's lucky I wrote it off]

** Sorry I'm Aussie and if yanks don't have fish and chips I will never live out my dream to go to California Disneyland, because I won't go to America. End of story.

[EDITED: I have changed Lothario's name to Charles. Obviously the gender-bent character of Charlotte. I like it better, think of it as a homage to RE:Play. Also looks like my dream to go to Disneyland is still in place.]


	4. Chapter 4

I haven't even abandoned this why ...? I don't know, I'm really sorry, I have a tumblr and I just really lost track of time. Please have this chapter and my sincere regret. I will try and upload more. More notes at the bottom.

* * *

Jasper was walking down some cafe-and-op-shop* street with Alice, as she explained the need to buy second-hand clothes.

"You don't even want to _imagine_ the lovely things people can find it in themselves to part with!" She said in a very scandalised way. Jasper snickered, remembering the small disaster-zone that was her bedroom.

"You're a bit of a hoarder – so I guess you wouldn't understand the concept of 'spring-cleaning'." Jasper teased, swinging their entwined hands between them idly. It was childish but a very unused gesture with him, he liked it. Alice, on the other hand, had been distracted by a dress at a window, and didn't seem to register he had spoken.

"And even if it's absolutely _atrocious_ and should be burnt," Alice continued, and Jasper almost interrupted her to repeat himself, but found her joyful spiel rather cute and simply let her continue, "I can usually use it as scrap –" suddenly she blinked, and rounded on Jasper sharply, "a hoarder?" She asked, "Me? Really?" Jasper just shrugged, trying to fight down his smile as her pinched up face. This makes her break out into a wide grin, even twisting on the spot in a comical show of coyness, "Sweet-talking me isn't going to make this go any faster!" She sang, skipping ahead and dragging him willingly forward, "Just because you describe dragon-like attributes to me doesn't mean the flattery will get you anywhere." She said firmly. Jasper almost laughed then – trust someone as wonderfully odd as Alice to connect hoarders to dragons. The eccentric link was so like her he didn't question it*. [Please tell me someone got that. Dragon treasure? Yes? Okay.]

"Fine, it was worth a shot." He said instead, before he caught a whiff of roasting coffee beans, "Hey – we'll get some coffee after this." He suggested, grinning as Alice screwed up her nose, "Well, I will. You can have tea." He corrected himself. Alice only nodding, muttering an affirmative. They walked on in silence for a time, looking this way and that, and occasionally people-watching, with a whimsical twist.

"Look – Hades and Persephine," Alice whispered, and pointed across the road, to where a teenage boy trooped along in a long black coat, with an arm over the shoulder of a girl in a summer dress. They seemed very mismatched, but they were both smiling. Jasper nodded in agreement.

"Oh, Hansel and Gretel," Jasper hissed as they passed two very bouncy young twins. Alice gave him a slap on the arm, but muffled her giggles under her scarf. He shrugged as she skipped around him, making him spin in a slow circle with their joined hands.

Suddenly Alice gasped, "Oh! Oh Jasper, look!" she squealed, and threw herself against a shop window so enthusiastically the window wobbled, and Jasper quickly checked to make sure she hadn't split her head open in her haste. She shoved him away though, intent on the shop. Pressing her nose against the glass, her breath fogging up the glass, "It's a collection of fairy-tales!" She giggles, "I _must_ have it! Come on!" With that, she grabbed Jasper's hand, dragging him inside the shop, only to leave him at the entrance as she hurried on inside. He smirked at her energy, and dawdled over to the counter, glancing inside the glass cabinet.

He gives the shop assistant a passing glance and a polite nod, and noticed a small green figurine. It was a tiny fairy girl, with a white dress and green skin, with wings open as though she was ready for take-off. The short hair and large smile caught his attention.

Jasper mentions to the item, "… I'll take this." He says to the girl, who nods and smiles, pulling it out and beginning to wrap it. Jasper mouths to the girl _for her_, and points to Alice with a wink. The cashier nods, but frowns, and Jasper can only imagine why.

"I'm a bit too old for you, bopper," He said bluntly. She froze, glancing at him and glanced back down at the gift, wrapping it with more fumbling. He chuckled at her reaction, and glanced around the shop for Alice while he waited. He could hear excited little oohs and ahhs coming from some corner of the shop, and smiled.

Finally, he had the gift and tromped out to take a smoke. He loitered outside until Alice came skipping out, giving him a hug before they headed off to the coffee shop.

–

Jasper glared heatedly at his sister, who had finished braiding a young girl's hair, and refused to look at him. Never-the-less, as his dear twin, she knew he was glaring, "Jasper, come on, I don't mind –" Rosalie began, but Jasper didn't let her finish.

"I don't care if _you_ don't mind, _I_ do." Jasper growled, looking around at the damn kid circus going on with absolute disgust. He had expected an adult party, maybe a little too loud or touchy-feely for him to enjoy, but something that would tell him that her birthday was today. "All these rug-rats are sticky, red and … I'm pretty sure they're not toilet-trained." He grunted, he already celebrated his birthday yesterday. It took five minutes for Rosalie to be born after Jasper, that meant the clock went from 11:58 to 12:03, which meant, in their heads, Jasper was a day older. "This is your worst birthday ever-"

"Shut up!" Rosalie hissed, glancing around with a smile. "No-one knows it my birthday," she reminded him, "it's Anna's birthday instead." She said, as though it was easy to sacrifice her birthday for a child, "Besides … this is shaping up to be one of my favourites …." She looked around fondly, waving at the children that glanced their way, and smiling at their parents,

Jasper sighed, "Rose-"

"Jazz," she snapped, "I'll never get this again, let me enjoy it." She muttered, not looking him in the eyes. Jasper growled – his sister had been born infertile, which she had known for her whole life, and only recently has it begun to affect her. She wanted to be a mother, she claimed, even though just a year ago she was disgusted by the very notion of parenthood, and glad she wouldn't be apart of it.

"Oh my god!" Jasper yelled, "Adopt, for fuck's sake!" He told her, like he had so many times before. He knew his sister – she only wanted it because it couldn't be her choice to not have it. Everything had to be personally rejected by Rosalie, even her uterus functions.

Rosalie only looked irritated, "You _know_ Emmett isn't comfortable with the idea," She said, referring to her husband. Jasper rolled his eyes, glancing at the large man where he laughed with men who looked twice his age. Jasper snorted in disgust – Emmett was like a really stupid pet, he had to be acceptable or you'd feel like shit, because it wasn't his fault he was stupid. Except it was his fault, Emmett just sometimes both astounded and angered Jasper with how slow he was at putting one and one together.

"I don't care," Jasper told his sister, "if you told him you really wanted to, he wouldn't complain." He said, which was true. Emmett never put up a big fight with Rosalie, not since they were married and ended their on-and-off dating, "Because he's whipped." He added.

Suddenly, Emmett groaned from behind them, looking sadly at Jasper, "And here I thought you were going to say it was because I love her." He grumbled. Jasper smiled, amused at the very notion.

"Nope." He told him, "I would never say that, I don't even understand the concept." He said honestly. Emmett was sort of a wonder to him that he was able to deal with his sister; it had almost turned into grudging respect, but Jasper had concluded a better choice of spouse had simply never crossed Emmett's fleeting mind.

"Em," Rosalie explained, "love is a foreign emotion to him," She sighed, and patted her brother's arm, who flicked her away.

"No emotion is 'foreign' to me," he scoffed, "I just don't see how it's possible to love _you_." He looked very much like he was ill at ease with the thought, "You're evil."

"You're cruel."

"You're manipulative."

"You're even more so."

"I hate your face."

"I hate yours too."

"Okay!" A clear giggly voice broke through their banter. If only because Jasper was shocked deep to the core that it was recognisable, "Who's ready for a _dance_? Where's the birthday girl? There?" A little girl called Anna, with two braids down her back, bashfully stepped forward.

Alice smiled, donned in a gossamer green dress, with large wings pinned to her back and a white flower garland on her head. "Hello, you are our Daily Fairy Princess!" She declared, putting a crown of yellow flowers on Anna's head, "You see, on young girl's birthdays, they turn into Fairy Princesses," Alice explained to the group of children surrounding her, "and it's ever so much fun!"

"Oh my god …" Jasper muttered, getting his sister's and her husband's attention, "I know her." He muttered to them both.

"The Fairy Lace?" Rosalie asked, looking surprised, "She hosts fantasy-based parties, I hired her for Anna." She explained, looking quite proud at her ability to organise such creative things. Jasper glanced at Alice, who he had only talked to just this morning, and watched her dance around and entertain the children. He'd been phoning and going out with Alice for a month now, not officially 'going steady' or 'dating', but they saw a lot of each other. It only now occurred to him he should have probably asked her what she did for a living. He just assumed she painted, or something artsy from her collection of clay, canvases and sharp pointy bits on her bedroom floor.

He supposed this was where he thought she could be a great mother in the future, with the realisation being accompanied by a large rush of love/affection/lust. But no, Jasper was just horrified she managed to seem so cheerful among spawn like that. Besides, he knew her well enough to know she was a little too distracted by everything to handle looking after a small person very well.

"God …." He groaned, watching Alice, who hadn't acknowledged him, so probably hadn't seen him, walk up to Rosalie, with her skirts swishing and her wings fluttering in the piss-poor wind. Surprisingly, though, she suited the get-up, and Jasper realised she probably made it herself – she had mentioned something about making clothes to him a few times.

He really didn't want to have to talk to her right now though, because he wouldn't be able to keep from laughing. As adorable as she looked – she was still dressed as a fairy for a children's party.

"Hi," Alice said to Rosalie, smiling politely, and looking just as sweet and mature as she did when Jasper had met her and they were both sloshed, "so I'll need to set up in the middle of the yard, and they'll be a toadstool table," she explained, "chairs and a blanket next to them, also –" then she spotted Jasper, "oh, hey there!" She said, grinning at him.

He cleared his throat several times before managing to speak, "Hey, Alice." He said. Then he remembered Bella mentioning a party all those weeks back, "This is what you meant by party …." He muttered.

It took Alice a while to rake through her brain, "Oh, yeah, that afternoon." She nodded, and then glanced at Rosalie again, "Oh, you're his sister, hi." She shook the blonde's hand again, much to both of the twin's surprise.

"He mentioned me?" Rosalie asked, glancing at Jasper as he shook his head. Emmett didn't even know he existed until Rosalie had broken up with him after six months and she told her brother to grab her stuff from the grieving guy's apartment. It was an unspoken rule that they never mentioned each-other until it absolutely benefited at least one of them.

Alice waved her hand flippantly, "No," she giggles, "no – you look alike …" she glanced between the two of them and then nodded, "oh, twins, that's so cool." She added, smiling.

Rosalie shook her head, "It's really not." She told her, then pointed between Jasper and Alice, "How do you two …?" She trailed off, something odd in her eyes. Jasper prepared himself for some trouble – he knew she'd already guessed how they met. She had other motives for asking the question. Jasper watched Alice carefully.

"Oh!" Alice looked surprised, and glanced at Jasper, who offered no help, "We're …" _fuck-buddies?_ Jasper attempted to fill in the blanks. _Friends?_ "I have his …" _phone number_, "... we've banged." Alice said bluntly. Jasper snorted into his fist. She was very fond of using that expression.

Rosalie feigned shock, "What?" She looked at Jasper, a perfectly manicured hand pressed her to perfectly powdered cheek. For her terrible acting skills – flawless to anyone who didn't fucking teach her – Jasper knew he was going to be hitting her sometime soon, right across the back of the head. "Jasper, you only broke up with Lucia last week!" She snapped, arms on her hips. Everyone else was genuinely surprised then – not even Jasper knew who Lucia was. Instantly he was pissed – she had one-upped him by springing a name he couldn't recall.

Alice looked at Jasper, "Who's Lucia?" She asked, getting a confused nod from Emmett. Jasper had no time to feel sorry about confounding the man – his fucking sister was winning this, and he hadn't even figured out what she was doing yet.

Jasper glared heavily, but finally sighed, giving up the physical tension, and shrugged, "I dunno." He said.

Rosalie smirked at him, and he scowled, but it was quickly fixed back to exasperation when she was looked to, "Your ex-girlfriend?" She hinted. Emmett nodded knowingly then, obviously just remembering what would have been a passing comment from Rosalie.

Jasper nodded now, the memories coming back to him, and he was beginning to understand what she was doing. She had skewed the timeline – that was the day he met Alice, so almost a month ago. She was trying to drive her away. "Oh, the blonde." He shrugged flippantly, "Yeah, she looked too much like you." Jasper said, biting back the urge to add; _way too damn ugly_ for fear of being childish.

Rosalie was far from done. "You dated for nine months!" She added, a gleam of triumph in her eyes. Jasper flinched, knowing this wasn't looking good for him. He didn't really feel like this was a fair fight. Alice didn't know how easy it was for him to get pissed and loose the ability to care. Rose was making him sound like a bastard. Granted, he was a bastard, Alice didn't need to know that yet.

He addressed Rosalie with his most malice-laced tone of regret, "But she was a lying cheating bitch …." He almost whined. Alice was looking very confused, while Emmett uncomfortably excused himself for a moment to get more alcohol in his system to deal with this.

Rosalie points to Alice, "She's a rebound!" She snaps. Jasper gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to slap his sister in the face. That was for private – right now he needed to upend her game plan.

"No she isn't." Jasper snapped back, and in all honesty he was telling the truth, "I like her more then Lucia, and she's nothing like her; she's funny and she has the ability to laugh." Jasper added, smirking. Complimenting girls worked, surely the same applied for Alice. He couldn't look at her right now, though, he had to get his sister to back down.

"Jasper," Rosalie sighed sadly, "you … you really can just switch your feelings on and off." She looked as upset as possible, and Jasper's eyes narrowed as he tried to work out what her next move was, "Lucia calls me almost every night, begging to make it up to you." Rose looked near to tears.

Jasper snorted, "You should change your number." He said unflinchingly, he was getting fed-up with this – Rosalie was winning and he didn't want to play anymore. He knew he was going to regret this later, but right now he was tired to hearing squealing kids and putting up a polite front for people because it was his bitch of a sister's damn birthday, "Rose, dear, you know that when I don't care, I really don't. It's in the past." He stated, completely ready to drop the subject now. Alice was going to think he used her and that was that. He'd deal with the aftermath, just like Rosalie no doubt wanted. Hooray. He hated fucking loosing to his sister like this; it was the reason he failed his chemistry class and got his car stolen, though those were completely different stories.

Emmett came back to hear the last part, and his face crumpled with concern. Genuine damn concern and Jasper was freaked out by it, "Aw, man, you broke up?" He patted his shoulder, with Jasper resisting the urge to push him away and back off softly, "Wanna go out for a drink?" Emmett offered, and the urge to distance himself was gone.

He smirked,"If you're buying, sure." He agreed.

Rosalie looked up from her nails though, and scoffed, "Never mind about him, Em," she assured her husband, "it's just something he does – walk away unscathed while taking away people's ability to live." She added airily, and with that laid down the last of her attack. Jasper glanced at Alice's wounded expression – she'd won.

"Hey," Jasper snapped, defeated and sulky, "I don't go blabbing about your extra-curricular activities." He said.

Alice finally spoke up, with a weak grin and wavering voice, "... I'm lost," she lied, smiling and pointing behind her while backing away, "I'll just go to the kids, now!" She said, turning to leave. It was then, seeing her back to him, adorned with those fucking fairy wings, that Jasper panicked. Truly panicked because he didn't want her to go and never come back, and if she left now she really wouldn't.

He sweeps the panic away, laughingly, jokingly taking her arm and turning her back, "Hey, wait, I'll explain-" He begins, but her high-pitched laugh cuts him off.

"Oh no!" She ripped her arm away and began to walk backwards, waving her hands as she spoke, "It's fine – gotta go this way …." She went back to the children and began the party games.

Jasper watched, and then turned on his sister. Rosalie was sipping the drink Emmett had given her before leaving, and he takes it from her and tips it to the ground. "Rosalie!" He growled.

She raised a hand to shut him up, "Better now then ever." She advised, "She looks fragile – best not let her get mixed up with your shit." She added, smiling with all the carefree falseness in the world.

Jasper scowled, "That would have been my choice, not yours." He hissed, then walked away and left the party.

Rosalie had gotten the goal she aimed for. Absolutely nothing but the destruction of Alice's trust in Jasper, no doubt. Unlike their others games, the most recent ones being Rosalie's underhanded attempts to get Lucia to want Jasper back desperately – which she had only done to piss Jasper off and get back at him for manipulating Emmett into thinking Rosalie might have another man in her life. They both knew wasn't true, though Emmett was still not so sure. Jasper felt like he could have, though, because she'd bothered to care about him so much – inviting something to happen. He was used to keeping his distance, so as not to give Rose something easy to take – it'd be too simple for her. As she made it too simple for him.

Jasper doubted Alice would have anything else to do with him now, and for once it was a relationship he actually wanted back. It was a strange thing for him to want – and it made him even more pissed with his sister. The bitch had crossed the line now. Jasper hadn't touched Emmett's puppy-love for Rosalie until he planted rumours of the affairs, but at least she'd gotten hitched with him first. Jasper had barely seen Alice for a month. She wasn't being fair, and believe it or not, they were very fair to each other. I ruin something of yours, have at me on something of mine. But she could have chosen many other things to wreck then this. It wasn't fair.

* * *

*Op-shop or thrift store or charity shop, really just that place that you donate all that stuff you don't want/need. So Rosalie and Jasper have a piss-poor relationship, maybe I'll delve into that, maybe I won't. I know Emmett comes off as stupid but that's how Jasper sees him when he's feeling nasty.

I'll update everything else by a chapter too ... sorry I'm a terrible person.


	5. Chapter 5

First update of this year and it's already a month in. Anyone sick of me yet? Yeah, me too. Someone kindly informed me that I'd labelled this 'complete' and yeah, it's not, what would I do with the other chapters floating around? If you haven't noticed yet and if I haven't mentioned it; Charles is Charlotte. No real reason why.

* * *

At Jasper's favourite fish and chips place – along with Pete, Charles and one of his friends, he tried yet again to call Alice. He sighed as he got nothing but voice-mail, again. "Alice, I get you're probably pissed at me, no doubt," He began, and Pete caught his uncomfortable look from across the table.

"Fair on ya, too!" He shouted out, laughing, to which Jasper flipped him off impatiently.

"but I'd like to talk." He continued with his voice message, "My sister likes ruining shit for me – it's a hobby of hers*. Call me back, thanks." He flipped the phone shut, and shook his head at Pete as he glanced up. Realising Alice hadn't picked up, Pete petted his shoulder in momentary pity before giving an amused chuckle and going back to devouring his battered whiting.

Jasper rolls his eyes at Pete's obvious enjoyment, but allows a rueful twitch at the corner of his mouth. He didn't make friends with the intent for those warm fuzzy feelings. A sour weight settled in his gut when he realised those feelings were only reserved for Alice. The same Alice that wasn't speaking to him.

Charles was more sympathetic than his worst half, "Still not answering?" he asked softly, eyes looking sad. Jasper shook his head. Charles was turning into a permanent fixture around Pete, so Jasper made a conscious effort to stay polite with him. He decided he wasn't going to do what Rosalie did a week ago and ruin everything for someone that did a rare thing called 'putting up with him'.

"Nope." Jasper took a chip and bit it leisurely, "I think I'm going to kill my sister." He said in an off-hand way, though he'd already slapped her three days ago out of frustration. She'd thrown him into her pool with a rake in retaliation, "Yeah – I'll definitely be doing that." He agreed with himself, nodding. He'd get some of his buddies to grab him some cyanide later.

"Why?" It was the friend of Charles, who peeked up at him from his blue side fringe. The boy, Star, had a very effeminate voice and actions, and was covered with facial piercings, and had a large tattoo of some Gothic rose on his neck. Jasper remembered the rose when he'd cracked a poorly-taken joke about proper washing to the boy when he'd walked in. After that disaster, Jasper had taken to ignoring him, and Star had responded in kind.

"Would she have just been telling the truth?" Star asked, referring to his demon sister. Charles told him this morning that he'd told Star all about what Jasper had raged about to Pete when he'd gotten home after the cursed party. Jasper wasn't particularly pleased his life was being so blatantly spread, but he guessed that's what happened when people got closer. It pissed him off.

"Are you fucking me?" None the less, Jasper certainly wasn't going to miss a chance to rag on her, "She loves twisting facts to suit her stories." He said.

Star looked confused. "Like what?" he asked, "Why don't you explain it to me first so you can get your own facts straight?" The blue-haired boy offered, straightening his back and grinning proudly. He had braces.

Jasper decided it was worth a shot. "I 'dated' this girl, Lucia, for a few months, yes, and I broke up with her very recently, yeah," he took a breath to keep his temper down, "but implying the girl I've been seeing is a rebound also implies I cared about the first relationship. I really didn't."He explained.

Star blinked, "... How so?" He asked.

Jasper shrugged, trying to dredge up the memories he'd forgotten. There were too many catty women in his life to keep track of, "Lucia was okay, I guess. She was cruel and her posse of Queen-Bees were entertainingly shallow and savage." Jasper laughed, "You'd be surprised what these girls would go through to ruin each-other's lives behind the scene. I like that – brutality's my thing." He shrugged, really not caring what the little blue-haired man had to think of him, "So I fucked her, and let her label it as she would." He said. It had been fun, for a little while. They were no where near as clever and cruel as him and his sister could be, they were more like a bunch of high-schoolers in the grown-up world. It was funny while it lasted.

Star looked confused, "So you used her?" Jasper wondered who he was referring to – Alice or Lucia. Personally he didn't think 'using' was the proper word for either. Maybe 'watching', or playing with. But certainly not in the case of Alice.

"No – she knew I didn't give a shit about her." Jasper said, speaking of Lucia, "Well, at least I thought she did. Obviously toward the end feelings got involved, so I broke it off." He added. It wasn't the whole truth, but he didn't plan on giving Alice the whole truth, so this stranger would have to deal, "It was nice to help her claw her way to the top, but I never planned on sticking around after she made it there." He added, for a piece of honesty.

Star grunted, picking at some chips. It was fun to see him open them – he'd peel off the hard skin and eat the soft potato inside. "Seems like a small goal." He muttered, making Jasper chuckle in agreement.

"They were all pretty small-minded." He told him, "Didn't aim high about anything."

"But now she's upset." Star reminded him. Jasper didn't much like the reminder. Was it really his fault when a fuck-buddy wanted something more? He didn't think so – he also thought he'd made a conscious effort to seem like a real ass-hole. Why would any girl want that? Though he knew that was pretty self-deprecating, he held no reservation about himself. He knew he was rotten, he just tried to hide the smell around Alice, for the good it did him.

"It's her own damn fault for getting attached." Jasper grunted, now annoyed at all his wasted efforts. He'd liked Alice, he still did; she was airy and light – like she could fly away at any second. The temporariness of her being was something Jasper hadn't really encountered; everyone he knew would go to great lengths to be remembered forever, Alice seemed to be less than concerned with the notion of a legacy.

He didn't fully notice Star excusing himself until the man actually left. He had a strange way of trudging out of the shop.

Jasper watched him go with a little cruel humour, "Something I said?" He mocked, though glad someone was out of the way. Now for the rest of humanity to fuck off. Pete muttered, 'you're a dickhead.' though he was laughing lightly, because he didn't stick around Jasper for the warm fuzzy feelings either.

Charles though, had come back from seeing Star out, and looked at Jasper in disappointment. "That's how you're going to leave it?" He asked, sitting next to Pete a little closer then strictly platonic. Jasper found it funny because Charles had close to Emmett's large triangle build, yet still acted so submissive, and he just really liked the mockery of gender roles there. "I think Alice is starting to get attached herself." He said, stealing some of Pete's fish.

Jasper thought about the idea of Alice actually caring about him, "... Disconcerting, but understandable." He said, giving a grin, "I'm starting to get pretty attached myself." He added. He wondered why it was easy for him, of all people, to trust a Drag Queen. Though he guessed as people went, Pete's new partner probably _was_ his best bet at solid advice. This was only confirmed when Pete gave an overly-shocked, 'wow …' at his statement.

Jasper sneered at his only close friend. "Shut up, it's happened once before." He said, thinking back to puberty in a tiny school in a tiny town, filled with tiny-minds, "Bitch used me for her own needs and high-tailed it, though." He added. He didn't know, to this day, whether he should have been hurt, or expected what had happened when Maria left. Frankly he didn't like to dwell on it.

Charles looked upset, "So now you're a heart-breaker." He said, with an edge to his tone. Pete glanced up, looking as though he hadn't realised that could be a possible label for Jasper's behaviour.

Jasper just laughed, "Oh, Charles, you're funny." He said, "I'm not out of hurt people through pretending I care. I'm just out of hurt them, I actually try to avoid giving any illusions of feelings." He explained. It was true; there were much easier ways to hurt people. In any way he wanted too; physically, mentally, emotionally … though not through emotions like _love_. He was practically an expert; though like anyone he needed to hone his skills every now and again. There was just a few people he avoided tormenting, since he knew it would either have no effect on them, or he might need them later.

"Well," Charles didn't seem happy with that information, "you've certainly shown that to Alice." He said primly.

Jasper realised he was right. Alice probably thought he was dick. Though Jasper, and several others, had followed that train of thought before, hearing someone else say it made it sound a lot more final then he'd let it be. It didn't sit as well with him as it usually would. "... I'll find a way around that." He promised quietly. He just had to work out how.

"Good-luck." Charles said, standing, "Believe it or not – I like the way you two look together." He added, to which Jasper had no idea how to reply, but the man had kissed Pete and was leaving the table, "Gotta make some calls now," He threw over his shoulder.

Jasper watched him go, an eyebrow raised. "He's weird – why is he so weird?" He asked Pete, hoping the man would have some sort of translator for his significant other.

"I dunno." Pete just shrugged, "Hey … are you really okay with me and Lottie?" He asked suddenly, and Jasper forced himself not to groan, "'Cuz you seem pretty odd around him-"

That made Jasper scowl, "Shut up, fuck-head." He snapped, angry Pete couldn't tell that this was his way of being damn polite, "I thought you wouldn't want me to drive him off." Pete actually looked touched, and thanked him, which only made Jasper scowl harder, "It's not that hard, shit." He grumbled.

Pete nodded, mostly to himself, "I wonder if all the other hetero-sexually inclined will feel the same way." He murmured, in a musing fashion.

Jasper frowned, "I'm asexual." He said.

Pete looked confused. "What?" Jasper felt a flash of irritation, "But you go home with girls …."

"Grey area, dumb-ass." He added, but sighed when Pete only looked more bewildered, continuing, "I don't use my dick." He explained. "I'll never want to bone 'em." He had more important things to do then dwell with other people problems. So far; he knew he liked what sex did; he liked the sounds and expressions and noises. But he didn't like the mess or wanting. He wanted for nothing when it came to the bedroom.

Pete was still trying to work out what he meant, "You just … hump?" Jasper lets out a rude snort at that.

"No," Jasper shook his head, putting his elbows on the table and playing with his watch, "I'm not – I don't do penetrating nothin'." He added. It was half past twelve, and he had to stop in at work tomorrow. Explaining his sexuality to Alice was easier, she'd just bit his fingers, traced over his lips and watched him smirk before he went down on her.

Pete seemed to slowly grasp the idea, "So, like, tranny's are okay with you?" He asked. Jasper actually had to stare at him to figure out he wasn't going to correct himself.

"First off, don't call them that, dude, you're boyfriend's a Queen, for god's sake." He snapped, "I'm hetero-romantic. I'll only be attracted to girls, and not in a sexual way." He says finally.

"Oh …" he apologised quickly, but he carried on questioning, "so, like, it's … no blue-balls?" Pete was chuckling now, but Jasper felt the need to punch him in the face. Personally, Jasper wanted to tell the man to fucking search it online then bother him, but he played along. He hadn't enough friends to be constantly short with them.

Jasper shrugged, "I guess – not that that's the point at all."

Suddenly, Pete laughed, "... This is just because you don't give a shit, isn't it?" He asked rhetorically, laughing again. Jasper joined him, shaking his head in disagreement. Let Pete think what he wanted.

"The amounts of fucks I lack." He sighed, then got up to call Alice one more time.

–

There was a knock on the door, just when Mina Harker starting making out with Dorian Grey. Jasper, who never liked either of the books, gladly went to answer the door. Being too broke and too bored to do anything but watch _League of Extraordinary Gentleman_ with Pete was a bad idea. "What?" he grunted as soon as he opened the door. Alice stared back at him, dripping wet. Nothing much had changed with her, except the purple tips in her hair. Jasper changed his tone, though, "Oh, hi." He greeted.

She looked at him very shrewdly, "This isn't gonna be one of those things where we have make-up sex." She said bluntly, and sternly. Jasper nodded in agreement, "I need a booster for my car." She added, in a much meeker tone. Jasper was amused, though he nodded his understanding.

"I guess the sex was too much to hope for." He teased, then turned back to the living room, "Hang on," he added, before shouting, "_Pete! Where are the jumper cables!?_"

Pete stuck his head out from the doorway, blocked from the front door's sight, though, "... We have those?" He looked surprised.

Jasper had doubted they did. "Hm." He shrugged, and turned back to Alice, shaking his head, "Welp, it was worth a shot." He added. She looked lost for a moment, before it was obvious she had an idea, as her whole face lit up.

"Can I use your phone then," she asked quickly, adding the; "please?"

Jasper nodded, and opened the door wider, "Yeah, c'mon." He led her to the kitchen, and handed her the phone. Pete hung around the doorway, where Jasper went to as Alice dialled.

"Dude," he hissed loudly, making Jasper wonder why he bothered in the first place, "what is she doing here?" He asked,

Jasper shrugged, "I think her car broke down, I dunno." He said honestly. He glanced at Alice, who had the phone to her ear and smiled politely, if slightly awkward. "You want a drink or something?" he asked, dubious as to how to act like a proper host. He glanced at Pete, who only shrugged.

She shook her head, "No, I'm fine." She said, before looking away as there was a murmur on the other line, "Hey, Jacob, listen, can you bring your car and some cables, I've broken down – no, I'm fine, I was near one of my friend's place." Pete gave Jasper an encouraging nudge, but he ignored it. Alice was far from happy to see him, it was only confirmed by what she said next, "Well, his boyfriend's place." She added.

Pete glanced up sharply, "She knows Charles?" He asked, looking excited. Jasper rolled his eyes as Pete actually expected him to answer, and replied that he was in no position to have an idea about it.

"Thanks, see you." Alice hung up the phone, and turned to Pete, "Yeah, I know him – we have the same default group of friends at the drag shows." Alice explained, which reminded Jasper about Alice's avid work in fashion designing and Pete nodded, muttering something Jasper didn't care about. He still didn't know if this was going to be the last time he saw Alice again.

Might as well try and preserve some dignity. "… So you know that Star guy too." He said, in way of starting a conversation. He hadn't seen Star since the lunch, though Charles had mentioned there hadn't been much improvement – whatever that meant.

Alice nodded with her head bent, "Yeah, we're close." she smiled suddenly as she turned to Jasper. He didn't like to admit it, but the smile almost made him _feel_. Which was very uncomfortable, "He thinks you're a dick." She added.

Pete made a grand fist-pump, laughing, "I was right!" He crowed, only stumbling when Jasper shoved him.

"Shut up, Pete." He rolled his eyes as his orders went ignored, and then turned to Alice, wondering what she expected of him. He decided on another blunt reply, "Well, I have a dick, so I haven't got much to defend myself with."

Alice nodded, though, and actually giggled. Her laughs were something Jasper hadn't heard before, they certainly weren't the sarcastic snorts of his sister, or the trying-to-be-cute snickers of Lucia, or at times Charles. Or even the howling of Pete or Emmett. It was this weird hiccuping sound that was a little too odd to be attractive, but very funny to hear, "Honesty is always the best policy," she said praisingly, and he found himself grinning. Then there was a metallic rapping on the door, "that's him!" Alice yelled suddenly, and ran to the door, throwing it open before either Pete or Jasper could move. They followed her out to the door, and saw her hugging a giant.

"Jake!" She yelled, pulling back and smiling, "Thank you for coming out!" She said gratefully. The large man laughed. Jasper actually had to force himself to stop staring – this guy was even bigger then Charles or Emmett.

"No problem, pixie." The man said, and his voice was way too young and childish to actually match the rest of him. Then he took a step into the apartment, holding out his hand, "Hey, I'm Jacob," He said, and Jasper was able to look at his face properly as he shook hands.

He took back the comment on his voice not matching his looks. His face was cheeky and bright, and very cocky. He looked in his mid-teens from the neck up. Jasper wondered what relation Jacob had to Alice.

The guy had a lot of piercings, in his ears, eyebrow and tongue, and Jasper doubted he dressed in drag, what with nothing but cut-up jeans and a ratty hoodie on. Charles enjoyed making sure anything about himself was perfect, especially his clothes. (Jasper actually planned on initiating a hug in greeting when they next met to mess everything up. And also to give Charles an inkling that he only offered physical touch for either sex or destruction, and Jasper didn't personally find him that attractive.)

Alice was waving to them both though, "Jasper and Pete." She introduced.

Jacob glanced at them both and nodded, "Yeah? Cool – no," he pointed at Pete, who looked slightly confused, "I've seen Pete," Pete himself nodded in agreement, though he obviously couldn't place where, until Jacob turned and glared at Alice, "it was that one time you ditched me." He told her, no small amount of accusation in his tone.

Alice pouted, "I said I was sorry-"

"I was going to dress in damn drag," Jacob interrupted her, crossing his arms over his chest. This amused Jasper, and he smiled to himself, "and you weren't even there, I'm not forgiving you." He tells her with haughtiness, and Alice giggles. It seemed that they had had the conversation before.

"Well," Alice said, "it was a waste of time, anyway." She muttered. It took Jasper a while to realised she was implying spending the day with him that time was a waste. He wondered if he should be hurt by the statement, and was surprised to find it actually stung. You couldn't be his amount of cruel and have thin-skin, it just didn't work. But he still enjoyed that day.

"Ouch." He said, getting the rest of their attention, "This all you need?" He asked Alice. She looked guilty, and gave a small nod.

"Ah … yeah." She murmured, "Thank you." He nodded, and Jacob said good-bye before going out to the elevator. "I'll … I'll call." She looked at him, square in the face was she spoke. He remembered her words to him in parting that day.

He paused, "You're not one for lying, Alice." He said, because in all the time he knew her, her blunt – borderline brutal – honesty was one of her most defining features. She gave him a small smile, though a shy one.

"No I'm not." She replied, and nodded to Pete, "Bye." She said, walking out the door and closing it behind her.

Jasper waited for their footsteps – of which he could mostly hear Jacob's – to recede before he celebrated. He grinned like a fool, before reaching out and grabbing Pete into an excited headlock. "Yes!" He cheered, laughing. Pete complained and they finally separated when Pete's head was sufficiently noogie'd.

"You need some sort of warning sticker," Pete grumbled as he tried to flatten his hair. Jasper flipped him off and went to make sure his phone was charged.

* * *

* Because you're so guiltless, Jazz-man.

Peter is bisexual, Jasper is asexual, hetero-romantic, Charles is gay. Yeah, there's more sexual orientations then gay and straight, crazy. Anyway, this is my personal headcanon. I don't know if I've mentioned it before though ... Well, now you know. Again, sorry for being late!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey someone reviewed questioning if asexual, hetero-romantic meant Jasper was attracted sexually to men but emotionally to women and no, no that's not it at all – where'd you look to find that? That's probably the oddest thing I've ever heard, good of you to try though.

No, Jasper is emotionally – though he's pretty stunted – attracted to women, and **has no sexual attraction**, to anyone. He doesn't look for sex in his partners – he's not interested. He's hetero, which means all his partners will be female, because that's who he's attracted to.

What I was trying to tastefully imply (seriously I was trying super hard) is that while he doesn't penetrate, he does like to perform sexual acts, more for his date's reactions then his own. Which means he's more about oral and fingering. BUT because **sex isn't for his benefit, he must be attracted to the woman emotionally**.

This also meant that it was an instant hit-off with Alice, because he went home with her and because in the novel their relationship is instant too so ….

This is not the case for all asexuals, obviously, just my take on Jasper. Like any other sexuality, he didn't choose to not particularly enjoy sex, and it wasn't because of some past trauma – google it, guys. Like, properly; there are many websites that you can educate yourself with.

I suggest prolly the first two paragraph from Wikipedia and maybe try ScarletTeen - it's a good website.

On that classy note, here's a short chapter and it's conflict. (Oh no I hate confrontation)

* * *

A few days later, Jasper's phone buzzed. Jasper rolled his eyes, thinking that it was his sister. Somehow, she found out Alice was going to speak to him again, and she'd gotten pissed; calling him selfish and stupid. Like Emmett had more right to know how fucked-up they were then Alice did. It was an on-going argument and frankly Jasper didn't want to have it right now.

He glanced at the name flashing on the screen, and grinned. His mistake. "Jasper speaking." He said, pressing the phone to his ear.

"Hey, it's Alice." Alice said unnecessarily. She sighed, making the phone crackle in his ear, "I'm bored." She added woefully. Jasper laughed, and he actually felt glad she was willingly talking to him.

"What are we going to do about that?" He mused, while Alice gave another dramatic sigh. Somehow, maybe because of her tone of voice or what she was saying, Jasper knew he was forgiven. Though personally he didn't think he had to be absolved of anything, he went with it happily; just glad they were back on speaking terms.

"I dunno what I wanna do." She whined, before gasping, "Hey – do you like Homer?" She asked suddenly, sounding excited. Jasper was thrown off by the strange question.

"Simpson?" He asked uncertainly back. He didn't really like cartoons ….

Alice laughed, "Nope," she replied brightly, "the blind story-teller."

"Oh …" Jasper frowned. He didn't read anything from Ancient Greece, though he guessed it wouldn't hurt to try, "I dunno. Why?" He questioned, though he was already grabbing his keys to head over to her place.

"I have _The Iliad_!" She squealed, "You should come over so I can point out all the gay bits." She told him. Jasper chuckled, then nodded to himself. He might as well; it wasn't as though he had anything better to do, besides, he was already in his car.

"Ah, okay." He agreed, "Be there in a few."

–

Jasper lay on his back on Alice's yellow couch, Alice sprawled out on top of him. They were watching a movie with clay dragons and polar bears in it. "Oh no …" Alice whispered out of the blue, "Jasper, I can't find _The Iliad_ …." She told him. It took a while for Jasper to process she was saying, since he was pretty engrossed in the movie, but then he heard her he only asked her what she was talking about, "It was the book I was going to read to you!" She reminded him, pretending to be annoyed.

He just pecked her lips though, "Shh," he hisses, "this is where David almost gets frozen by the bear." He muttered. He'd seen this movie a few times, but he never got sick of it. Alice though, seemed ready to move on.

She nudged his shoulder, "Help me look for it!" She urged, already getting up. With a sigh, he paused the movie, and stood heavily.

He glanced around the apartment. Even with cleaning being Bella's best interest, Alice's messes still manage to sneak their way out of her room. "Where?" He asked.

Alice thinks for a moment, "Well … since Bella hasn't found it," she giggles, "it's in my room. Since I don't know where it is –" Suddenly she jumps up when an idea struck her, "it's in the unicorn's guts!" She cheered at her genius, and confused, Jasper claps. Then Alice pushes him towards her room, "Go get it – I don't like putting my hand in there because spiders." She explained, shoving him through the doorway.

Jasper laughed, "Oh, alright, then." He began sarcastically, "Gonna go get bitten by a red-back, then. That's fine." He glared, and Alice picked up a hanky to wave him off with. He just tromped through her chaos, and knelt down by the bedstand.

"You're a brave hero." Alice called through the door, the spiders seemed to be a large concern for her. Jasper didn't really know why, since her room was so wrecked they probably had colonies in here spanning generations.

"Fuck yeah I am." He agreed anyway, and stared a bit harder at the half a unicorn. He didn't even know it had guts; he just thought she'd picked it up and took it home. This actually had a drawer? It also amused Jasper to find that he could very easily understand Alice-lingo – mostly because she couldn't use it to confuse him anymore.

"I'm making tea!" Alice voice came from further away, and Jasper knew she'd gotten bored and went for something to do. She just left the butter alone this time.

Jasper chuckled, "Okay!" He called back. Then he noticed a small knob where, he guessed, a unicorn's belly-button would be. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed it and unthinkingly pulled. A heap of paperwork and pictures and coloured cards fell out in a heap on the floor as the door swung fully open loosely. "… Well fuck." He said, and began piling them into haphazard mounds on the bed.

To Jasper's near delight, a spider scuttled across a piece of paper. It was a tiny, insignificant thing. For a moment he toyed with the idea of catching it and presenting it to Alice, but quickly put that aside, and led it onto his hand, where he squished it.

Sighing, he began to idly flip through the paper, mostly being a sticky beak, but also wondering how the hell he was supposed to find a book in all of this. The book was small, surely the Ancients were too busy cultivating civilisation to write proper books?

As he rustled through the papers, his eyes rested on the photos.

"Who might you be, boy?" He muttered to himself, pulling out a picture of a very small boy, in a smart uniform. He wasn't smiling at the camera, and had his head down. Jasper squinted at the face a moment, before he actually found himself recognising it.

"That's Star!" He exclaimed. He remembered the blue-haired tattoo'd boy that he had scared off at the fish shop. He was Alice's friend – though now Jasper wondered what kind of friend, to have a picture that was obviously from his school years. Though it didn't bother him much, he was now noticing the two looked very alike, same small face, large eyes, upturned nose a little too large to be delicate, and those lips, constantly twisting and pulling and biting, and they never really stayed still-

Jasper realised he better stop describing them now, unless he wanted to find a hard problem to deal with.

So why did Star look like Alice? Maybe they were siblings … though Alice didn't mention it. Jasper understood if she never mentioned Star at all, he gave Rosalie the same curtsey, but she _had_ called him a friend, so they must be on good terms or she'd have added if they were related.

He flipped the photo over, and saw that there was writing on the back. _Alestair Brendon, 2__nd__ year_. Jasper frowned, since it gave little clues as to why this photo was here. Looking around, there were several photos of Star in here. Some of them he was giving a smile, but that was only if he hadn't spotted the camera.

There were steps, and, rather then trying to hide the evidence, Jasper sits back on his haunches and waits. Alice skipped through the door, "Jasper have you found – oh." She looks at him, and the papers on her bed. There was a silence that stretched for a while, as it wasn't Jasper's place to say anything, and Alice seemed to be much more interested in staring. Suddenly, she ran forward, and grabbed the papers and photos, hurriedly shoving them underneath the unicorn, "Um, don't do that," she muttered when Jasper made to pass her more papers, "that was a bad idea, sorry." She mumbled, not looking at him as he took a seat on the bed.

When she was done, the papers stuffed back into the unicorn, she seemed to calm down, she sat next to him, hands in her lap and lips stretching and pulling.

"Are you and Star good friends?" Jasper asked, for conversations sake. He was starting to get uncomfortable on how close to tears Alice was acting. Usually _anyone's_ tears wouldn't bother him, but this was Alice and she was … Alice. He may more-than-like her, but he wasn't about to start waxing poetry.

The question seemed lost on her, until she glanced at the pile of papers and nodded in understanding, "I guess?" She gave a shrug, "I don't know, we're friends, but if we didn't have to be, we wouldn't." She explained. Jasper, encouraged with how easily, though quietly, Alice had answered, tried to duck down to see her face.

"Why do you have to be friends?" He asked curiously. She glanced at him, her eyes wide and bottom lip between her teeth.

The answer seemed to be in a very tired tone, like a solemn old woman's. "Because I got sick of hating myself." She whispered. This didn't clear anything up on Jasper's part, and he wasn't sure how much he could ask until she got too upset.

"Alice …?" He questioned. He wanted to understand, and he wanted to help. He just didn't know what needing helping, or if he could actually do anything. There was a growing feeling of disaster he couldn't shake within him.

Finally, Alice hunkered down and pulled out a few papers from the pile. She passed them to him. "Here." She muttered. Jasper glanced down – hospital forms.

Scanning them, skipping over boring terminology and odd diagrams, he spotted something.

_Gender Identity Disorder_, _vaginoplasty, breast augmentation_ …. None of it was really ringing a bell, but he was getting the idea ….

He glanced at her, and Alice didn't looked up from her hands, making it impossible to tell what her reaction was when he said; "Trans – asterisk and all." (Like Trans*)

Alice was biologically a male. She must have been when she was born, and this rather female-looking figure she had now was given to her later thanks to a surgeon's knife.

"Yeah …." She muttered quietly. Jasper kept his eye on her, but when she failed to add anything more substantial, he glanced back at the papers. Soon it got boring to pretend to look over them, and he set them aside. There was silence for a while. "Do you mind?" She asked quietly. She wasn't looking at him, eyes rather on the figurine he'd given her from the op-shop.

"Oh … well, um … hm." He droned on, stalling and all the while looking at Alice closely and mulling it over. Was it his place to mind? What was the proper way to handle this?

"It's hard to imagine you as a guy." He finally told her. And it really was – she was so small, and while her hands and feet weren't the right size for such a frame, they were still very soft and delicate. She went out of her way to ensure that it would be hard to imagine.

She perked up at the news, "Really?" She breathed, eyes shining. He smiled and nodded. A blush flooded her cheeks and she grinned.

He wasn't sure he could understand why she looked so happy. He wasn't actually sure if he _was_ okay with this. What was this anyway? God, he was so confused …. But damn it, she was still _Alice_ and if this was going to be he most painful conversation he ever had with her fine. That's just fine.

He tapped the picture of the schoolboy, "Who's Star, then?" He asked. He must have had something to do with Alice's old life.

Alice glanced at the picture again, "Oh … that was me." she explained, "I was being a spy." She whispered. Jasper blinked – she'd dressed as Star to talk to him. Which made sense, since she never asked about his ex, at all, since they'd been on speaking terms again. She'd dressed as a boy to get information from him. He felt the stirrings of rage in his belly, and stood quickly.

He glared when she stood also, "Nice." he hissed sarcastically, his hands shaking and his lips curling into a sneer. She'd lied to him, and gotten what she wanted, then she left. Jasper didn't do that when they'd fucked, without telling her about his ex – because what he'd wanted was her. All Alice wanted was to see how he'd justified what he'd done in the presence of a stranger. "Really." He muttered, stalking out and grabbing his jacket. He'd find something to punch or drink on his way home.

Alice trotted after him, looking lost, "Wait – you're angry because I dressed as a guy, rather then the fact that I used to be one?" She asked. Jasper nodded, but he wasn't sure that summed it up correctly.

"Yeah," he said, already at the front door, "because I wasn't even planning on telling you all of that," he said honestly. Thinking she was a stranger, he told her other things that he wasn't going to if he knew – and was going to make sure she knew the facts, but not how much of an asshole he was. That was going to be saved for another day, like never. "and even so, you really couldn't just ask me outright?" He asked, his voice starting to gain volume.

There were also things he had meant to tell her, things like how she shouldn't even try to compare herself to anyone else he'd ever known, that there was no precedent for someone like her in his life and that was the truth and he liked that.

No, all she heard was a cruel story told by a cruel person. Rosalie was right, how could he have been so stupid? So selfish? Alice probably didn't understand – maybe this was pity, or desperation, but no-one would ever … care, about him, or what he'd done. He hurt people because that's what he knew was fun. He made himself superior because he could tell when people were slinging bullshit by the pound. He wanted this strange girl with pixie wings on her back and she turned out to be … lying. Lying? Yes, a lair.

She gaped, "But that's forgivable!" She argued. Jasper grabbed the door handle and made to leave, to walk away and not come back to a pitiful girl or a desperate one, because he'd had those and all he did was hurt them, he knew he did, he made sure he did – he couldn't do that to Alice, he doubted he wanted to do that to anyone again. Because it was the pitiful people that stayed, the desperate ones. He didn't want them any more. They were shit.

"Yeah, maybe," he said over his shoulder, "but certainly not right now." He explained.

"No, wait," Alice begged, taking his arm, there was a sort of desperation in her tone that made his heart sink, "please – tell me it's okay." She breathed, voice cracking, "Tell me it's okay that I was wrong first." She whispered.

Jasper glanced back at her. Wrong first? _Oh_; she meant her body, her body _before_. Shit – what was he supposed to say to this? Was he even treating this information right? He wanted to scream at her for telling him in the first place. He'd be able to process her lying to him if she hadn't dropped that bombshell on him first. He didn't know how to answer these questions, and neither did Alice. And that scared her.

Why did he care? But he did – he didn't want her to be upset or frightened if he could help her, even if that'd just leave him wrecked, "It's okay." He assured her quietly, the fight draining out of him. He wanted to sleep for a million years, he wanted Alice to lie to his face and say she hadn't dressed up as Star because she didn't trust him and she was right not to.

But it didn't happen. She relaxed, her eyes taking on this light he hadn't seen before, but he pulled his arm away, "But using underhanded means to get information isn't." He added darkly, he knew because that was what he did. Because acting like him … it would end so badly, since he could barely stand himself these days. He gave her one last look before leaving her home completely.

* * *

Oooooh conflict. Man, was that confusing? Jasper is shocked that Alice spoke to him through a disguise rather then asked him face-to-face, because she hadn't trusted him. He should have known something was wrong with that boy – who eats their chips like that? Jk, I'm sure someone does.


End file.
